


Long and Winding Road, A

by orphan_account



Category: The West Wing
Genre: Drama, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2001-01-07
Updated: 2001-01-07
Packaged: 2019-05-15 12:29:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 4,191
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14790546
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: CJ and Toby are in for a little surprise.





	1. Long and Winding Road, A

**Author's Note:**

> A copy of this work was once archived at National Library, a part of the [ West Wing Fanfiction Central](https://fanlore.org/wiki/West_Wing_Fanfiction_Central), a West Wing fanfiction archive. More information about the Open Doors approved archive move can be found in the [announcement post](http://archiveofourown.org/admin_posts/8325).

Disclaimers: The West Wing and it's characters are the property of Aaron   
Sorkin, Warner Brothers and NBC. No copyright infringement is intended. No   
profit is being made from this.

Rating: PG

Author's Notes: I would like to thank AJ and cherryice for beta reading   
this.

It had been a long day, and CJ was exhausted. She had not been feeling well   
lately. She assumed that she was coming down with the flu or something. She   
really didn't have the time to be sick then. As she was leaving she stepped   
into Toby's office.

"Hi." She said.

"You're leaving?" Toby said.

"That's a very astute observation."

"Yeah. Are you feeling any better?"

"Not really."

"You should see a doctor."

"When do I have the time to see a doctor?"

"It's your health, you should make time."

"Toby..."

"You've been sick for the last two weeks. You need to see a doctor."

"I'm going home."

"To your apartment or mine?"

"Mine."

"Is it okay if I come by later?"

"I'll probably be asleep, but I would be disappointed if you didn't."

"Well, I'd hate to disappoint you."

"Yes, you would." CJ said. She kissed him lightly on the lips and left.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Toby opened the door to CJ's apartment later that night. It was dark, and   
he was certain she had gone to bed. He looked into her bedroom, and saw that   
she was asleep. He quietly slipped in beside her. He was almost asleep when   
he felt her wake up.

"You came." CJ whispered as she turned until she was facing him.

"I told you I would." Toby said as he brushed her hair back from her face.

"I know."

"Are you feeling any better."

"No, I'm calling the doctor tomorrow."

"Do you want me to go with you?"

"No, I'll go by myself."

"Okay."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

CJ was able to get an appointment to see her doctor the next morning. She   
called Carol, and told her that she would not be in until after the   
appointment. Later, Toby learned from Josh that she had called to say she   
would not be in at all that day. After hearing that, he was certain that   
the doctor had told her something bad. He wanted to go and see her during   
lunch, but was unable to get away from the office. He would have left, but   
it would not have been good to have two members of the senior staff out. So   
he waited, and became more frantic as the hours passed.

When he went to her apartment, he found her sitting in the dark in the   
living room. He knew immediately that something was wrong. She was sitting   
with her legs drawn up, wrapped in a blanket.

"CJ." He said softly. When she turned to look at him, he could tell she had   
been crying.

"I didn't hear you come in."

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing, I'm fine."

"CJ, you've been crying."

"Yeah, I know that."

"You never cry." Toby said as he sat down on the table in front of her. He   
took her hands in his . "You went to the doctor today, what did you find   
out?"

She avoided his eyes for a moment before answering. "I'm pregnant."

"What?" Toby said clutching her hand tighter.

"I'm pregnant." CJ said as she let go of his hand and got up. She walked   
towards the window. "I'm sorry, it's still a little shocking to me and I'm   
trying to adjust to it."

"It's okay."

"I've calmed down considerably from the way I was earlier." She walked   
back over to the couch and sat down. She smiled weakly at him. "At least we   
know what's been wrong now."

"Yeah. How do you feel about this?"

"I don't know."

Toby watched her for a moment, wondering if he should ask what he was   
thinking. He finally decided to ask. "Do you want to have this baby?"

"Toby?!" CJ cried. She got up and walked back to the window.

Toby knew that his words had hurt her deeply. He saw her lightly touch her   
fingers to the window pane. He searched for words that would explain why he   
had said that, and would not hurt her further. "CJ." Toby said carefully.   
"Given the way you are acting it is a legitimate question."

"Yes, I know it is." CJ said as she turned to face him. She sat back down   
beside him, and took his hand in hers. "This is something I never thought of   
before today. I think it would be selfish to not have the baby. There is no   
real reason for me not to have the baby."

"Us, CJ, no reason for us not to have the baby." Toby corrected.

"Okay, I just didn't know how you would..."

"How I would feel about this?"

"Yeah."

"I'm happy about it." Toby said as he caressed her face.

CJ turned her head and kissed the palm of his hand. "I'm glad."

to be continued...

 


	2. Long and Winding Road, A 2

See part 1 for disclaimers.

"Your eyes are closed?" Toby asked as he guided CJ into his apartment.

"Yes." CJ replied.

"I can tell you are mentally rolling your eyes."

"Whatever would give you that idea?"

"I don't know."

"May I open my eyes now?" CJ asked since she could tell Toby was standing   
in front of her now.

"Not yet." Toby said as he traced her lips with his finger.

"Maybe you should give me a reason to want to keep my eyes shut."

"I should?" Toby asked as he put his arms around her.

"Yes." CJ said just before he kissed her.

"Was that enough to make you want to keep your eyes shut?"

"Yeah."

"Good, you may open your eyes now."

"Okay." CJ said and opened her eyes. They were in the dining room and the   
room was illuminated only with the candles on the table.

"Don't even say that I've never done anything romantic for you." Toby said   
as he slipped his arms around her again.

"Have I ever said that?"

"No."

They sat down at the table. After CJ had taken a few bites of the food, she   
picked up her glass of water. As she picked it up, she noticed something   
inside the glass. She fished around the inside of the glass, and took a   
diamond ring out of the glass. She looked up, and saw that Toby was watching   
her.

"Is this what I think it is?" CJ questioned.

"Yeah." Toby said simply. "I had a flowery speech planned but it seems to   
have escaped me. Will you marry me?"

"Toby..." CJ said she swallowed before continuing. "You're only asking   
because of the baby, right?"

"CJ..."

"It's okay I know what you are doing. You're trying to do the right thing,   
and I respect that. I just don't think it would be right for us to marry   
because of the baby. We'll work something out." CJ said, she touched her   
hand to his cheek. "I'm going to leave. I'll talk to you later."

"CJ, please..."

"No, Toby it's okay. Honestly I don't think I'm ready to get married right   
now. I'll see you tomorrow."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Josh looked into compartment on Air Force One that CJ had sequestered   
herself in. She had only left it to brief the press. Josh couldn't help but   
wonder what was going on with her.

"Hey Claudia Jean you can come out now, the President has promised to stop   
asking insipid trivia."

"I'm fine right here."

"Okay." Josh said as he turned to leave. "It's just you don't seem so well   
today. What's going on?"

"Nothing."

"So that's the reason you and Toby have not been on speaking terms for a   
week?"

"We've been on speaking terms..."

"CJ!"

"I will admit they haven't been good terms, but we have been on speaking   
terms."

"So that's the reason Sam's been a go between for you and Toby?"

"Yeah."

"If you are acting this way at work I'd hate to know how you are acting   
away from work."

"We haven't talked away from work."

"So it's over?"

CJ leaned back against the couch she was sitting on. She laid her hand   
against her stomach. "I don't think it will ever completely be over."

"What do you mean by that?"

CJ closed her eyes. "I'm pregnant." She whispered.

"What? Toby's not happy about it?"

"That's not the problem. In fact he's so happy that he wants to do the   
right thing."

"He asked you to marry him?"

"Yeah." CJ admitted softly.

"And you said no?"

"Something like that."

"CJ you know how he feels about you."

"Most of the time I do."

"What do you mean by that?"

"He wouldn't have asked if I wasn't pregnant. No matter how much...I'm not   
marrying him just because I'm pregnant."

"What about marrying him because you love him?"

"That's not the reason he asked me."

"Do you really think that?"

"Josh, I honestly don't know what I think."

"Okay you know if you need anything all you have to do is ask."

"I know."

"How are you really?"

"I would be much better if I could sleep for more than a couple of hours a   
night. Of course if I can't have that I'd settle for no more nausea."

"You need to take care of yourself."

"I know that."

to be continued...

 


	3. Long and Winding Road, A 3

See part 1 for disclaimer.

The ringing of the phone had awakened Toby shortly after midnight.   
After speaking with Josh for a couple of minutes, he quickly left. It amazed   
him that he had not been pulled for speeding as he drove to the hospital. As   
he was talking to the nurse at the admission desk, Josh came out.

"Where is she?" Toby asked.

"They just took her upstairs. She thought she heard you so I told her I   
would check and see."

"You didn't tell her you called me?"

"Not yet."

"What happened?"

"She started having contractions. They've given her some medicine to stop   
them. Sorry I didn't catch the name of it. They've taken her upstairs."

"Is the medication working?"

"Yeah it's starting to. The doctor is saying if she makes it through the   
next twenty four hours everything should be fine."

"What kind of chance are they giving of that happening?"

"They haven't said."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Toby stood at the door for a moment before going in. He couldn't tell if   
she was asleep or not. He walked over to the bed and sat down next to her.   
He noticed that her left hand was resting lightly on her stomach. He reached   
for her hand and took it in his.

"Josh called you didn't he?" CJ said without opening her eyes.

"How did you know it was me?"

"Did you really think I wouldn't recognize your touch?"

Toby could not think of a way to answer her, so he kissed her forehead.

"I would have recognized that too." CJ remarked.

"I should hope so. I'm not planning on going anywhere."

"I wasn't planning to ask you to go."

"We'll work this out once you are out of the hospital."

"If there is still something to work out."

"I don't want to hear you say things like that."

"Okay. Do you think there is anyway you could hold me?"

"I was beginning to think you were never going to ask."

"I didn't know if you would want to." CJ admitted as he sat down on the bed   
beside her.

"You really don't know do you?"

"Know what?" CJ asked as she laid her head against his shoulder.

"How much you mean to me." Toby continued before she could speak. "You mean   
everything to me."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Toby was able to take CJ home late the next day. Her hospitalization had   
forced them to tell Leo about the pregnancy. Leo had wished them well, and   
hoped that CJ would be better soon.

Toby sat down next to CJ on the bed. She had quickly fallen asleep once   
they had gotten back to her apartment. He felt that he could rest now. Her   
doctor believed that everything would be fine now. He could only hope that   
was correct. During the last few weeks he had been certain that he had lost   
her. In that time, he had realized what his life would be like without her   
in it. It was something he did not want to go through again. He knew that   
there had to be someway they could compromise, and stay together. He laid   
down beside her. As he slipped his arms around her, she snuggled against him   
just as she always had. Maybe in some way it proved that on the most   
fundamental way that their relationship had not changed. Toby could only   
hope that was true.

It was hours later when CJ finally awakened. The first thing she noticed   
when she woke up was that Toby was asleep beside her. It felt good to be in   
his arms again. She could feel one of his hands resting on her stomach. He   
had held her this way on the couple of nights they had spent together after   
finding out about the pregnancy. She realized then how much she had missed   
him. She closed her eyes and snuggled deeper into his arms. Deep down she   
knew he loved her.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The next time CJ woke up it was almost dark. She was alone, and she   
wondered if she had imagined Toby's presence earlier. She turned and   
immediately noticed the indentions on the other pillow. She knew then that   
he had been there. She wondered where he was, so she got up to find him. She   
walked into the kitchen and found him cooking.

"Whatever it is, it smells good." CJ said.

"I didn't know you were awake."

"I haven't been awake for a long time."

"Okay."

She stood there watching him for a moment. More than anything she wished he   
would hold her. Maybe it had been easier to be close when they both had been   
asleep. She was certain she should be the to make the first move. After all   
she was the one who had put the distance between them. She slipped her arms   
around his waist and laid her head against his back He reached and turned   
the stove off, and then turned to face her.

"Why did you do that?" She asked.

"Because I'm a little distracted right now."

"Okay." CJ buried her head against Toby's shoulder. After a few minutes,   
she whispered, "I'm sorry."

"For what?"

"Pushing you away."

Toby stroked her hair for a few moments before answering. "Would it help if   
I withdrew the proposal?"

"Toby..."

"No, listen. I lost you for awhile, and I can't go through that again. Not   
now or ever. I just want you to be happy, preferably with me."

"So we both can be happy?" She laughed.

"Yeah."

"I don't want to lose you again either."

"Then we'll keep the relationship as it was?"

"Yeah, I guess so."

"What do you mean?"

"Toby there are going to be a lot of questions."

"Why we aren't getting married?"

"Yeah."

"Tell them it's none of their business and leave it at that. Anyway the   
White House does not answer questions about the personal lives of the   
staff."

"Okay, I just hope it will work."

"It will. You need to lay back down now."

"Toby..."

"The doctor said you couldn't be up for long."

"I know."

"All right."

"I'm going." She stepped out of his embrace. She smiled as she heard him   
turn the stove back on. "Are you planning to bring me dinner in bed?"

"Is that an invitation?"

"Yeah." She laughed.

"Okay."

to be continued...

 


	4. Long and Winding Road, A 4

See part 1 for disclaimer.

  


Once CJ passed safely into the second trimester of the pregnancy, Toby   
stopped worrying as much as he had been. It seemed that she was feeling much   
better than she had been. Their relationship was almost back to what it had   
been before the pregnancy, except it was probably much stronger now. They   
had found out the baby would be a girl, and had spent many hours shopping   
for nursery furnishings. All of the little things that Toby would do for   
her and the baby amazed CJ sometimes. She sighed and tried to focus on the   
papers she was reading. They were the financial disclosure statements for   
the Senior Staff. Hopefully this would be the last serious thing she did   
before her maternity leave started. She had already finished Josh's, Sam's   
and Leo's. She had been pleasantly surprised to find that all of them had   
been fairly mundane, and would cause her no headaches. That left hers and   
Toby's to go. She knew that she would have no problem with her own. She was   
certain that she would not have a problem with Toby's either. She was   
certain that she knew everything he had done that year and that there would   
be no problem. When she reached the second page she was certain she had   
found a typo. He had just forgotten when he bought it. She turned her chair   
around slowly, and as she did so a photo on her credenza caught her eye. As   
she picked it up, and remembered the night it was taken she became more   
certain that the date printed on the paper was not a typo. She knew there   
was only one way for her to find out. She carefully got up, and went to   
Toby's office.

He had stepped out of the office for a couple of minutes. She decided to   
wait on him. When she sat down on the couch, she found herself staring that   
the same photo that was in her office. It was of her and Toby. They were   
sitting on flight of steps in New Orleans. He was sitting above her, and she   
was laying against him. She closed her eyes for a moment, remembering the   
night the photo had been taken. The sound of the door closing startled her   
from her reverie.

"I didn't realize you were in here." Toby said.

"Don't worry about it."

"What's wrong?"

"Does there have to be something wrong for me to come and see you during   
the middle of the day?"

"Yes."

"Okay."

"Okay."

"I need to talk to you about the financial disclosures." CJ said.

"What about them?"

"There's something in yours I think the press will question, and I need to   
clarify it."

"CJ, I swear there is nothing about stocks or anything else I don't   
understand."

"I hope that you understand this." CJ laughed.

"What is it?"

"On July 26, you purchased a one and a half carat diamond solitaire ring.   
We won't get into the price because I really don't care about that."

"Is it the press or you that cares?"

"Me." CJ said softly.

"CJ..."

"Unless I'm wrong that is the ring you put in my glass that night."

"CJ, it's probably not a good idea that we talk about this."

"But the thing that gets me is July 26 was weeks before that night. In fact   
it close to the time I became pregnant."

"CJ, what's the point."

"Toby were you planning to propose to me around that time?"

"Does it matter now?"

"It does to me."

"Why?"

"It just does."

"CJ, I really don't want to have this conversation right now. Can't it wait   
until after she is born?"

"No, it can't!"

"CJ, I don't want you to get upset, and you are."

"Then answer my question were you planning to propose to me then?"

"Yes!"

CJ took a deep breath before asking, "Why didn't you?"

"You would have said no then too."

CJ struggled to get up from the couch. Toby immediately heard her and   
quickly sat down beside her. "No, don't try to get up sweetheart."

"I didn't want us to marry just because of her."

"It wouldn't have been just because of her."

"Toby, you asked me to marry you without saying you loved me!"

"Oh, come on Claudia Jean you *have* to know I love you."

"I do know it. It just would have been nice to hear you say it then. I   
honestly thought you were only asking because of the baby, and that you   
wouldn't have asked if I wasn't pregnant."

Toby took her left hand in his. "Your hands are swollen a little bit."

"Yes."

"I'm just thinking that you probably can't wear the ring now."

"I could wear it after she is born." CJ said softly.

"What did you say?"

"You heard me."

Toby continued running his thumb over her hand for a few minutes. "I love   
you." He said. "I'm not asking because of her, or for any other reason than   
I love you and I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Will you marry   
me?"

"Yes." CJ said.

to be continued...

 


	5. Long and Winding Road, A 5

See part 1 for disclaimers

Toby opened the door to the room, and was greeted with what was   
probably the most beautiful sight he had ever seen. CJ was sitting on the   
bed holding their infant daughter. He stood watching his wife, although   
they were not married yet he still thought of CJ as his wife, and his   
daughter. He sat the roses he was carrying on the table, and went to sit   
beside her.

"Good morning." She whispered when he sat down beside her on the bed.

"Good morning."

"She's perfect isn't she?"

"If she's anything like her mother yes."

"Toby!"

"I'm serious."

"That's the part that scares me."

About an hour later a nurse came into to take the baby back to the nursery.   
Toby kissed CJ's forehead and held her against him. He could tell that she   
was starting to get tired.

"We have to name her." He said.

"Tell me we are not getting into this again."

"CJ, she has to have a name."

"I know and we have decided that she will be named Melanie."

"But we are not agreeing on the middle name. Don't you think Melanie   
Claudia Ziegler is a beautiful name?"

"Toby you aren't going to give up on this are you?"

"No."

"Okay." CJ said sleepily. "I guess I'll agree to that."

"You will?"

"Yeah." CJ said as she started to fall asleep.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

CJ looked at her reflection in the mirror. Sometimes it was unbelievable to   
her how happy she was. As she raised the brush to her hair, she noticed the   
ring on her finger. Toby had placed it on her finger two weeks after Melanie   
was born. She had promised herself that she would not cry. She really had   
tried not to, but she had started to cry almost as soon as Toby took her   
hand. She smiled as she remembered how he had held her. She glanced at her   
hand again, and looked at the gold band he had slipped on her finger that   
afternoon. She had managed not to cry then. Maybe it was because she didn't   
want to cry in front of all of their friends. She wondered if anyone other   
than Toby knew that she had cried as they were dancing. She took one last   
look in the mirror and got up.

She walked steadily towards the living room of the hotel suite they were   
spending the night in. As she got closer she could see he was sitting on the   
couch, on the phone. She fervently hoped that he was not talking to anyone   
from work. She would never hear the end of it from Josh if he were. When she   
could finally hear what Toby was saying she found she couldn't move.

"She's asleep?" CJ heard him say. "When did she go to sleep?" There was a   
pause as the person on the other end answered. "She should wake up around   
three then." Another pause. "I know, it's just...this is the first time CJ   
and I have been away from her." CJ leaned against the wall listening to the   
rest of his conversation with Donna. "I know Melanie is fine. I just had to   
check on her." Another pause. "Yeah, we'll be there tomorrow morning. I   
don't know three I think. Okay, tomorrow afternoon then. Bye." CJ stood   
there for a moment after he had hung up the phone.

She walked behind him and placed her hands on his shoulders. "Have I ever   
told you how sweet you are?"

"CJ." Toby said as he drew her arms around his neck.

"What?"

"I am not sweet."

"Really? Then what would you call it?"

"Call what?"

"You called to check on Melanie. I heard you talking to Donna. I thought   
calling to check on our daughter on our wedding night was very sweet."

"CJ, you could come over here." Toby suggested.

"Yes, I could." CJ said. She moved around the side of the couch.

Once Toby realized she was not going to sit down beside him, he looked up.   
"I didn't think it was possible."

"What was possible?"

"You look more beautiful now than you did in your wedding gown." Toby said   
as he drew her onto his lap.

"And you wonder why I think you are sweet. " CJ said as they started to   
kiss.

The end.


End file.
